Unconditional Love

With Valentine's Day coming up I wonder if this is coincidence or divine intervention, but my love tank has been tested to the extreme this week.  I have had the song "crazy" by gnarls barkley in my head and it sums up Amelie in a nut shell.

Especially this part:

"Come on now...who do you, who do you think you are.

Ha ha ha, bless your soul,

You really think you're in control?

Well I think you're crazy

I think you're crazy...."

Well, I had finally hit my limit last night when from 12-2am she screamed and cried hysterically while we tried all sorts of different things to make her happy and make her go to bed.  By 2am she finally decided to cuddle with me in bed and she started to settle, smile, and even chit chat a little bit.  We fell asleep until 5:30am when she woke up to her head falling off of Brad's shoulder and she decided she wanted to sleep in her own bed, so she did until 8am. 

I was tired, beat down, and kinda angry.  We still got up and went to church, and I'm so glad we did.  To be honest, I was starting to feel bitterness toward her and that maybe I'm just not going to like her at age 2.  Nights like these happen often and her hysteria gives me grey hairs and knots in my neck.

As church started they played a video about your love for your child and how they are so sweet at birth but the challenges they bring while they grow up.  But, the fact is...they grow up...THEY GROW UP.  And, I want to cherish her every moment because on days like this when I'm beyond what I thought I could handle, I do handle it and I get through it, and I love her dearly.

I finally realized today that only through my children can I even imagine how much my maker loves me.  I can be stubborn, I can fight him, scream at him, rebel against him, hit him, throw things at him, kick and scream when he gives me rules....and even come back crying, feeling sorry and shameful and he will open his arms and love me like I was a brand new baby....Just like I love Amelie.  It's so deep it tears at my deepest fiber.

well, if you know the song "crazy", you will know that I left out the last line..."just like me"

So, to sum it up...Amelie, I think you're crazy, but you're just like me....I love you, will you be my Valentine?