So Cold

So, we have a toilet seat cover that has a small built in kiddie size part to it that Amelie sits on so that she does not fall in.  Well, I've gotten so used to putting it down for her that lately I will accidentally put it down for myself.

As if toilet seats aren't cold enough as it is.  Adding more cold material just makes me jump up and yelp.  It is so cold and uncomfortable that it reminds me about the constant sacrifices I make as a mother.

So many things are going through my mind when this happens.  Here are just a few:
*Can I just pee with some dignity and privacy?
*Can I just sit down in comfort and relax?
*Will I ever have enough down time to actually think about what I'm doing and not have to rush every motion?
*Will there ever be a time when I'm sitting here ALONE?
*What was it like before I had a peanut gallery and I had to tell her to back up and give mommy some space?
*Will I ever be this comfortable with anyone else?  Probably not :)

Sometimes I am annoyed by her bathroom presence and her questions and announcements of what's going on in there, but I love that we are so comfortable with each other.  It's so natural and you can't find that anywhere else in your life.  That's why having kids is so amazing.  It's like no other and I love her presence even when I have to ask her to step back and keep her hands to herself.

Some day I might miss the little toilet seat cover but for now it just reminds that I have a big cold butt.

Putting my foot down

Well, I have gotten some good advice on how to deal with the night time tantrums and they are working.  I realized that I was actually nurturing Amelie too much.  It was hard to come to this realization because as mom's we don't easily see beyond our job to nurture.  But, she was getting unruly, whiny, and demanding.

All that I had done for the first two years of her life to create independence was disappearing and I didn't know why.  She was starting to need me a lot, and especially at bed time.  Well, what I realized is that she had learned manipulation.  She was using me to not have to go to bed and deal with it.

So, the first night I told her that I will give her all the kisses, hugs, and cuddles that she needed, but once I leave it's bed time and no more affection.  When she got up and came out of her room and I told her to go to bed she went into her room and screamed, cried, and banged her fists on the door.  She even threw herself on the floor and started thrashing her room.  It was beyond irrational.

Finally, she went to sleep.

The 2nd night, I told her the same stuff, but that if she got up that Daddy was going to deal with her.  The funny thing is, she stayed in bed.  It's amazing the affect that Dad's have on kids.  When the dad is not in control and allows his kids to walk on him, the home is chaos. There is a natural hierarchy and when men do not assume this role, it makes life miserable for women.

Thank you Brad for being the leader of our family and making my life easier.  Go team Roeber!!!

Unconditional Love

With Valentine's Day coming up I wonder if this is coincidence or divine intervention, but my love tank has been tested to the extreme this week.  I have had the song "crazy" by gnarls barkley in my head and it sums up Amelie in a nut shell.

Especially this part:

"Come on now...who do you, who do you think you are.

Ha ha ha, bless your soul,

You really think you're in control?

Well I think you're crazy

I think you're crazy...."

Well, I had finally hit my limit last night when from 12-2am she screamed and cried hysterically while we tried all sorts of different things to make her happy and make her go to bed.  By 2am she finally decided to cuddle with me in bed and she started to settle, smile, and even chit chat a little bit.  We fell asleep until 5:30am when she woke up to her head falling off of Brad's shoulder and she decided she wanted to sleep in her own bed, so she did until 8am. 

I was tired, beat down, and kinda angry.  We still got up and went to church, and I'm so glad we did.  To be honest, I was starting to feel bitterness toward her and that maybe I'm just not going to like her at age 2.  Nights like these happen often and her hysteria gives me grey hairs and knots in my neck.

As church started they played a video about your love for your child and how they are so sweet at birth but the challenges they bring while they grow up.  But, the fact is...they grow up...THEY GROW UP.  And, I want to cherish her every moment because on days like this when I'm beyond what I thought I could handle, I do handle it and I get through it, and I love her dearly.

I finally realized today that only through my children can I even imagine how much my maker loves me.  I can be stubborn, I can fight him, scream at him, rebel against him, hit him, throw things at him, kick and scream when he gives me rules....and even come back crying, feeling sorry and shameful and he will open his arms and love me like I was a brand new baby....Just like I love Amelie.  It's so deep it tears at my deepest fiber.

well, if you know the song "crazy", you will know that I left out the last line..."just like me"

So, to sum it up...Amelie, I think you're crazy, but you're just like me....I love you, will you be my Valentine?

Me and my Bee

If you know the band Sublime please sing along with me...."Me and my Bee we have this relationship..."

This is the tune I like to sing whenever Brielle plays in her saucer. There is this bee that she has formed a very intense relationship with. I thought I would add some pictures so you could see her amazement every time she sees this bee. Although the flash on my camera might be amazing her, it's the closest I could get to the real thing.

It's cute to watch her learn new things and just have her mind blown. The first thing she does is look at it really hard, grab it with all her might and of course, she tries to eat it.

I've realized that babies treat their tongue like it's an extra hand. It's like their greatest feeler. But Mr. Bee doesn't seem to mind. Thanks Mr. Bee for keeping my little B happy.

Ninja Thumb

Brielle has figured out how to nurse and suck her thumb all at the same time. While she is nursing she slowly and slyly moves her thumb toward the side of her mouth and it just slips in. She actually can keep her latch. It's pretty cute. She will even do it if she is sleeping and nursing, so it's becoming a habit. I am constantly pulling her thumb away but oh well. It's a cute little tick that I will some day miss so I take it in stride.

I do feel some inferiority complex though. As if my boobs aren't good enough for her. She has to add her precious thumb into the picture. And while Brielle is learning to suck her thumb, Amelie is learning not to suck her thumb. For months I have been teaching her to squeeze her blankie whenever she has the urge to suck her thumb. And she is not allowed to do it in front of me.

Since she knows I don't want her to do it, she now asks me if she can suck it. Usually I say no, but there are still time like when she is overly tired or sick. I think it's cute that she asks.

I love the honesty in children. I remember when my step mom would tell me to go tell my dad what I had just done and I would actually go tell him. She later told me that she was always surprised that I would actually do it. There is such a beautiful innocence to children. That must be why Jesus told us to be like children. They are so unblemished by consequences.

Well, I know that thumb sucking is frowned upon by many, but it hasn't seemed to be a problem for us. It's been pretty easy breaking Amelie from it and yes, her teeth are a little weird, but I can already see them straightening out because she doesn't do it much anymore. I just think if you don't let them overdo it, it's fine. And, I would never be able to keep track of pacifiers, so go ahead Brielle...suck away.

Cloth Diapering

Cloth diapers used to be something of the past, but it is coming back full force. As we all strive to be green there has been a growing market in the cloth diapering industry and I applaud the innovation. There are some incredible cloth diaper brands and I truly believe it can be just as easy as disposables.

I have been cloth diapering since Amelie was 6 months old. I had my ups and downs, but once I got my groove I haven't looked back. I actually enjoy diapering my kids because I'm doing it with a purpose. It's not just a dirty chore. I have been wanting to blog about this to raise awareness. There are people out there that love the idea, but think they could never do it. But once you realize how amazing these diapers are, you may love it like I do. I can truly say it's a hobby for me. It's not the cloth and pins like it used to be.

If you are teetering and considering making the switch I am here to help. I will listen and offer as much advise as possible. I've done many many hours of research, so you could say that I have my degree in cloth diapering.

So, if there is anyone out there that wants to do it, but who thinks they can't...you are wrong, and Super Amy is here to rescue you and our planet. :)

You have a whole planet to sneeze on

We were putting Amelie to bed tonight and the dog walks up to Brad, looks at him, and sneezes in his face. Brad then says, "You have a whole planet to sneeze on...Go sneeze somewhere else!!!"

This cracked me up and instantly gave me a reason to blog tonight.

Isn't this so true when it comes to kids? When they get their first cold or their first tooth, they don't know what to do with this excess snot coming from their noses. But, even worse, they don't really care. And even more worse, they can't resist sticking their tongue in it. YUCK!!! I remember teaching Amelie that if she sneezed, not to touch it, and I would run and get a tissue. She was very good about it, but she could never resist reaching her tongue toward her nose...Good Lord...it's even worse to write about it.

And then comes teaching them to cover their nose when they sneeze. If you get a nice ray of sun coming through your window and they stand just right, you can truly see how much junk is floating through the air when they sneeze.

I know, not the best topic. But next time this happens to you just say..."You have a whole planet to sneeze on...Go sneeze somewhere else!!!"

Men...do we really need them?

Now that I have my babies, I wonder sometimes..."Do I really need him around"? Well, the answer is YES, absolutely YES. But, I had a very much NO moment today when I walked around his side of the bed, tripped on a pile of his crap and slammed my foot down on his belt buckle, which then pierced through and punctured my foot. You know that part of a buckle that hooks into the whole of the belt? Yeah, that went all the way into my foot. Blood was gushing and I was angry, cursing, crying, and trying to figure out how I was going to get from my bedroom to the kitchen without dripping blood all over the carpet.

Meanwhile, I had just put the baby down for a nap and was watching the clock tick tick tick.

I was just about to lay down and take a nap (something I never get to do) and something like this happens. And it was HIS fault!!!

Well, I recovered and even simmered down. By the time he got home, I was not angry, but made it very clear WHY he needs to pick up his crap. I'm clumsy and I trip a lot. He knows this, so why after 8 years can he not just pick it up!!!

Oh well, I still love him, but I do wish that he could take my tetanus shot for me. If that were the case I would have them put it in his ass!!!