This is what I sounded like today when for the first time I lost my child at the park. Granted, it wasn't for very long, but it was the scariest thing I have ever felt in my life.
It felt like a split second that she was playing on this contraption and then she was gone. I calmly started to call her name and I started getting more and more intense. Then it got very serious and the middle name started coming out....AMELIE MAE!!!!
I was watching my friend's baby while she took her son to the bathroom, so I scooped her up along with Brielle and with a baby on each hip I was running around screaming for my child. What surprised me most was how my thoughts were manifesting in the situation. My biggest fear (beyond just the fear of losing her and what could happen to her) was thinking that I would have to tell Brad that I had lost our child. I don't know why that was so significant.
But, The thing that just shocked me was that people would look at me and just carry on with a smile. I wanted to say "get that !@#$%^& smile off your face and help me find my kid you idiots!!! Not until I started asking people if they saw her did 1 lady start to help me find her. It blew my mind that people could be that oblivious, selfish, or just plain retarded. Personally, I think they were all retarded. I should have told them all to get on the short bus after I finally found her and calmed down. I know, that's not nice, but Dang it...you just don't leave a mother hanging like that.
Finally, the woman helping me said that there was a little girl coming out of the bathroom, but there was a stroller blocking the doorway. I was just praying that it was her. I finally saw my friend and I yelled for her and told her that I couldn't find Amelie. Luckily, Amelie had gone with her to the bathroom and she was that little girl trying to get out. I literally ran over to Amelie and just held her while I cried. It was so emotional. Even into this evening every moment with her had a different meaning. I felt lucky to be holding her, laughing with her, reading stories to her, and watching her tear my couch apart so she could jump on it.
It just happened to be a miscommunication between my friend and I. I couldn't even be frustrated at that. When you find your child, who cares about anything else. Little things just have no bearing on a situation like that.
Wow, what a day. I thank God that she is safe and that he reminded me of how much I love her and how the little things in life really don't matter that much if you have the right perspective.
It felt like a split second that she was playing on this contraption and then she was gone. I calmly started to call her name and I started getting more and more intense. Then it got very serious and the middle name started coming out....AMELIE MAE!!!!
I was watching my friend's baby while she took her son to the bathroom, so I scooped her up along with Brielle and with a baby on each hip I was running around screaming for my child. What surprised me most was how my thoughts were manifesting in the situation. My biggest fear (beyond just the fear of losing her and what could happen to her) was thinking that I would have to tell Brad that I had lost our child. I don't know why that was so significant.
But, The thing that just shocked me was that people would look at me and just carry on with a smile. I wanted to say "get that !@#$%^& smile off your face and help me find my kid you idiots!!! Not until I started asking people if they saw her did 1 lady start to help me find her. It blew my mind that people could be that oblivious, selfish, or just plain retarded. Personally, I think they were all retarded. I should have told them all to get on the short bus after I finally found her and calmed down. I know, that's not nice, but Dang it...you just don't leave a mother hanging like that.
Finally, the woman helping me said that there was a little girl coming out of the bathroom, but there was a stroller blocking the doorway. I was just praying that it was her. I finally saw my friend and I yelled for her and told her that I couldn't find Amelie. Luckily, Amelie had gone with her to the bathroom and she was that little girl trying to get out. I literally ran over to Amelie and just held her while I cried. It was so emotional. Even into this evening every moment with her had a different meaning. I felt lucky to be holding her, laughing with her, reading stories to her, and watching her tear my couch apart so she could jump on it.
It just happened to be a miscommunication between my friend and I. I couldn't even be frustrated at that. When you find your child, who cares about anything else. Little things just have no bearing on a situation like that.
Wow, what a day. I thank God that she is safe and that he reminded me of how much I love her and how the little things in life really don't matter that much if you have the right perspective.
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