Taking the power back

If someone were to ask me what the best decision I ever made as a parent was, I would say "putting a backwards lock on Amelie's door". I know that doesn't sound very deep and loving, but after months of chaotic nights of irrational behavior and resistance, that little lock has made us all happy and relaxed. I have been wanting to turn Amelie's door lock backwards for a while now because it is so hard to get her to go to bed. We have been nice, we have been mean, we have tried it all!!! And she still gets up a lot. It can take up to two hours for her to stay in bed and go to sleep. Some people were telling me what an awful idea it was so I went against my own judgement and didn't do it. Well, last week I got so fed up that we finally put a lock on her door and it was the best thing I have ever done. The first night she was pissed. Is anyone surprised by this? What's new right? I'm immune to her being upset. I watched her through the monitor and at one point she literally had all fours off the ground. Her hands were gripping the handle and her feet were on the door. Seriously dude??? I felt my nose scrunch, my eyebrows pointed down, and my mouth hung open. And then I started shaking my head. I was disgusted, irritated, and just a slight bit sad for her. But since the first two emotions were stronger I shoved the feeling of sadness back into that part of the brain that never gets used. I am happy to say that the fit lasted a very short amount of time and after two days we don't even have to lock the door anymore. I will keep the lock there just in case she tries to get all Jurassic park on me (you know how the dinosaurs would come and test the fence just to see if there was a chance that the electricity was turned off) and test it again. I am very pleased with this situation and I feel like I took the power back once again one step at a time. The whole house is much more peaceful and Amelie has had to learn to control herself. A very good lesson indeed :)

Thumb Glove

I always knew the time would come that Amelie would have to stop sucking her thumb. And, I always knew that I would be strong enough to get through it with her but never expected such a young being to have so much will power. Amelie is a very avid thumb sucker and her mouth was showing signs of the buck teeth shape so I decided it was time to end it once and for all. She has never been allowed to suck her thumb any time other than to sleep but since I can't stop her while we are sleeping I found a glove that she can't take off. I did a ton of research and it's the best design out there for younger children because while older children want to stop because of social embarrassment, the younger ones could care less what society thinks of them. Here is the link... Http://thingerthumbglove.com/ So, this glove is nearly impossible for them to take off and that is what she needed. And so the drama begins...I first tried the glove at night and I had been talking about it for a whole week while we waited for it to come in the mail. Here is a picture of her last hoo rah. Notice the fear in her eyes...

At first she was a willing participant because she didn't yet realize how permanent this was going to be. But once she realized how determined and serious I was about it, the rage began. There was a lot of crying and screaming. She even threw herself on the floor, kicked and then pounded on the walls and her door. Biggest fit ever. I decided not to get upset with her but to tell her that she didn't need her thumb anymore to make herself feel better and that she has me or daddy or her favorite stuffed puppy to make her feel better. She was sad, angry, and confused but I was still impressed with her strength. I kept telling her I was so proud of her and that she was doing such a good job. Well that night after 45 minutes she got the glove off and her thumb nail was bleeding. I decided to let her go to bed without the glove but told her that we would try again tomorrow. The next day I put the glove on for nap time and she was PISSED!!! But this time it was only 30 minutes and she wore herself out and fell asleep with the glove on...hooray!!!! I even got some pictures of her after her nap. I was so proud of her and she knew it.

Well, it's been two weeks now and tonight she even reminded me to put her glove on. It's just part of the routine now. When she graduates from this issue and no longer needs the glove she gets to go buy a bunch of nail polish. She is very excited about it. I am so proud of her and I sometimes love her stubbornness because it shows me that she is strong. Life will not push her around. Luckily she has a mom that knows a thing or two about being stubborn though or else she would be out of control.

Mother's Day

I had a great Mother's Day weekend. It was the best so far.  The only thing I feel a little bad about is that the best parts of the weekend was my time away from the kids.  I know eventually my favorite times will be with them and not away from them, but 2 kids under 3 years old can be very annoying.  But, now that I have that off my chest, here's how my special weekend went:

Brad took me on a bike ride while Nana watched the girls.  I didn't realize I was so out of shape, but it felt great to get some real cardio and also have some chat time with my hubby.  The first stop was under a huge oak tree where my friend and I frequently walk the kids to in the stollers.  We usually stop under the shaded tree to adjust the kids, give them snacks, or fulfill any demand.  I told Brad that I just had to stop and enjoy the peace and quiet.  No demands, just a quiet break to catch my breath...awww.

Then we carried on and stopped to have a drink and an appetizer and check out some cool bikes at a bike shop.  Brad and I would love to get some beach cruizers. I found one with pink hearts and a huge bell that sounded like a loud door bell.  It was awesomely obnoxious and everything I want in a cruizer. (Santa Cruz here we come!!!) 

Brad even took me shopping for some clothes at this cute boutique.  I got myself a new outfit, which was so awesome.  I have not done that for a few years.  He made my day so awesome and I needed it.

We then came home.  I nursed the baby, took a shower and headed out to dinner at a duelling piano bar.  It was really fun.  I even wore my new outfit.  End of day 1....

Day 2:  We were so tired we didn't make it to church so we headed out to the beach for the day with Nana and Papa and the girls.  It was really fun but no naps means hard day for mom.  My typical Angel baby Brielle was fussy the ENTIRE time.  I mean she wouldn't shut up for hours....UGH.  But as usual, the beach is fun no matter what the circumstances.

The funny thing is, is that we got such great photos that I could pretend that my life is bliss and perfect, but let's be realistic.  Please enjoy the photos, but don't kid yourself.

This photo was right before she threw herself back in frustration and I literally watched a chunk of watermelon slide down the back of her throat. As I quickly threw her forward and started pounding on her back I realized it was a clean slide and did not obstruct her airway.  Phew...no choking.

Both of my girls really love the sand.  They have never been irritated by it's stickiness.  They love to dig right in and feel it.  Amazingly, Brielle never tries to put it in her mouth which makes it much easier for me.

Towards the end, the girls were very tired.  I even carried them both to the car at the same time.  Baby in the pack and toddler on my back.  I do love that I can be there for my girls when they need me even if it means carrying them both at the same time on a long walk.  I think it makes me feel not only needed, but empowered.

It was all worth it and we had a great day.  It's fun to make memories like these for your children.  Amelie talked about the beach a lot.  She even made up a song called, "goin' to the beach...goin' to the beach".  That night she told daddy that we should go to the beach again.  So cute.

Thank you to my family for the best Mother's Day yet

The protest

Brielle just got two teeth at the same time and while she handled the pain very well I believe she was trying to let know she was still not happy about it.

She started biting me and it was like needles in a place where needles don't ever need to be. She was doing it so bad that screaming and telling her no wasn't enough. She would actually laugh at me when I freaked out.

So, I had to flick her cheek and make her cry. I felt so bad and instantly felt some regret. She then protested the boob for the rest of the day therefore nursing only twice that day. She usually nurses four to five times a day.

I got so stressed and started feeling a disconnect from her that I didn't like. She went to bed for the night without a feeding but couldn't really go to sleep until 11 pm that night when she finally gave in leaving both her and I exhausted but relaxed. It was instant relief for me when she finally nursed because as a mom my job is to feed my babies and make sure they are healthy. I don't want to fail them.

I was amazed at the connection that nursing brings to a mother and her child and how emotional it was for me that she didn't want me.

Well, it has been a week now and all is well. No more biting and we are back to being the best of buds. I love my little Brielle. She is quite possibly the sweetest baby to ever exist.

The Strong Willed Child

I had always heard of this description for some children and that it can often be misdiagnosed by people who just have unruly or difficult children.  It can sometimes be an excuse for parents who don't have control over their kids and by calling them strong willed it seems to get the parent off the hook.  Because of this I never wanted to admit that my own child might be strong willed but after a night like tonight, it's official, she IS strong willed.

I decided to do some research to confirm my thoughts on this and she fits the description to a T.  I have always said that I like her fire because I believe it will benefit her as an adult.  After researching it I felt good to find that I am right.  Here is what they had to say:

Strong willed children can be a challenge to parent when they’re young, but if sensitively parented, they become terrific teens and young adults.  Self-motivated and inner-directed, they go after what they want and are almost impervious to peer pressure.  As long as parents resist the impulse to "break their will," strong-willed kids often become leaders.  


here is a good link for more info...http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/positive-discipline/Parenting-Strong-Willed-Child


I was very proud to read this and it was much needed because I had reached such a heightened level of frustration I was determined that I was going to spank her until she submitted. I'm so glad I didn't thanks to my loving husband and partner in crime.

I too was a very strong willed child and I'm afraid that if I am not careful, my will to be right will break her spirit and confidence.

The article also said that, "When their heart is set on something, their brains seem to have a hard time switching gears.  They have big, passionate feelings and live at full throttle.


This was the defining moment for me.  This has been the absolute battle lately.  I feel like I am supposed to win every battle but I also have to offer respect and empathy.  I need to figure out what she wants and why.  I need to listen to her and allow her to express herself.  I still need to be in charge, but I am dealing with such a bright little girl that I need to allow her to have a point of view.  I don't have to agree with everything, but I need to calmly guide her through her adrenaline rushes.  She gets so worked up that I can literally feel her heart pounding and she almost stares at me with a desperate look of helplessness.  I truly believe there are times where she can not stop herself and my rage is NOT going to help the matter.

I can typically remain calm, but sometimes it's too much for me and I flip out.  At that point it's a battle of wills and it's very unhealthy.  The amount of emotion and passion that she and I have gets so escalated it's scary.   She is truly the biggest challenge in my life.

I will continue to pray over her, pray for myself, and research how to lovingly and calmly parent her but I need help and I need input.

I am going to download "the strong willed child" by James Dobson to my iphone tonight.  Let's pray for new beginnings and happy 2 year olds.

I just dwibbled a wittle bit

This is Amelie's new saying for when she sorta pees her pants.  It's pretty funny.  She usually waits until the last second to tell me that she has to go potty, so little dwibbles happen a lot.

Tonight, we were at a friends house for dinner and she was laughing so hard at one of the kids that she yelled "mommy, I just dwibbled a wittle bit"  and then kept laughing and said, "I just went pee pee in my pants".

We were cracking up.  Luckily she has her padded undies to catch the dwibbles.  If she keeps up this humor I might have to get some for myself....LOL

Just call me the bulldogger

One of these days I am going to mistake Brielle for a calf and tie her ankles to her wrists.  When it's time for a diaper change I feel like I have entered the rodeo arena and my event is steer wrestling.  I literally have to use my whole forearm to hold her chest down so that she cant flip over to her stomach.  If she breaks through the hold and gets onto her stomach I will try to wipe her booty but she tightens her butt cheeks so tight I cant get in and clean her crack.

If I try to tell her no she looks at me and laughs.  It can be very annoying, but I think it's more funny than it is annoying.  If I took the frustrated route at every diaper change I would never be happy, so I guess I have to embrace the silliness of a busy child and applaud her independence and curiosity.

I love you Brielle, but if I find some rope laying around the house, watch out, you might get hobbled.

(This might be too many hill billy references for my city friends...oh well...google it...LOL)