She's so Emo

I don't know if this is a California slang, but I hear kids referring to emotional people as Emo. At first I cringed at this word because it makes emotional people look like losers, but then I had a two year old. I have to admit that she can be very irrational and it's draining me of my energy. I'm not saying she is a loser, but I don't mind calling her Emo.

The terrible twos are quite the challenge and I see why people say consistency is so important. I think she is a very good little girl, but she is extremely sensitive and stubborn. It makes me think back to when she was a baby and how everyone thinks the first year is the hardest, but I loved my little pal. I agree that the first year is challenging, but there is something about a first child. It's 100% one on one and I miss it. I wish I would have blogged when she was a baby so that I would have kept those moments that can be so quickly forgotten.

I have more time to bond with Brielle than I thought I would, but it will never be like when Amelie and I were super pals. Now, my mind is racing faster, and there is more activity that takes me away from Brielle. Luckily I have my Wednesdays where nana takes Amelie so that Brielle and I can have the whole day together. It's amazing.

I had an hour of alone time with Brielle tonight because Brad took Amelie to the store. I had a very happy and Emo moment with her. I was listening to Pandora radio and a song called American Honey came on by Lady Antebellum. I was dancing with Brielle and she was smiling and enjoying it very much. I just looked at her and started to tear up. She is my American honey and I realized that the first year is all about falling in love with this person you hardly know. Even though she is my child I don't know fully know her yet. It takes time and I can't wait to find out who she is and what she will become. And, it's those moments where you bond and learn something about your child just from a smile or a laugh.

I am madly in love with my girls and I thank God for them. Biggest blessings of my life :) They make me so Emo, but in a very good way.

Calm

I have a friend that keeps telling me how calm I am with having two kids. I think she is my favorite person right now. It's funny how chaotic you can feel inside and then someone tells you something like this and you feel shock, surprise, and gratitude. I never give myself credit for remaining calm and allowing things to go wrong or differently than I had planned. I have been known to be a control freak and a little OCD. I think kids have broken me of this and it's liberating.

But, I couldn't have done it on my own. All moms need a good support system. You gotta have good friends and people to share your ups and your downs with. I am so grateful for all my friends who support me and allow me to be there for them as well.

So, raise your glass to friends, family, and anyone that supports you during motherhood.

I just want to thank you all :)

Mommy's Blog

Amelie took her little pink computer with her on a car ride and started saying that she has mommy's blog on her computer. I was very proud. She kept showing me and saying "See, I have mommy's blog on my computer". She then said that she has her own blog and even daddy's blog on her computer too.

And then to bring it back to a 2 year old level, she said that her blog was on her boob.

Allrighty then.

The little engine that couldn't

Amelie is capable of so much, but she gives up too easily on things. Her name means "hardworking" and I often wonder if she is not living up to it. Her new thing is "I can't do it" so I have been telling her to try it first and then ask for help. She is getting better and will sometimes say " I CAN do it", or "I DID it". She can be very proud of herself, but needs a little pushing.

I noticed this behavior at such a young age. Even as an infant she would try new things but give up quickly. Maybe she knew she would learn it eventually, so no rush. Brielle couldn't be any more the opposite. She wants to check everything out and she is starting to watch Amelie's every move. (I'm just glad Brielle can't take her own clothes off since that is what Amelie is always doing)

One thing Amelie is learning right now is to go potty on the toilet by herself. She is very independent so when she does decide to learn something new, she wants to do it all by herself. She tells me not to touch her or help her. She gets her step stool and pushes herself onto the toilet all by herself. She then puts her hands over her mouth with great excitement, so I join her and we get excited together. It's fun.

Parenting is most challenging because we are dealing with simple but yet complex little people. They know what they want, but they don't always know why. I feel like I want to know why she does things, but she can't tell me. She tries, but she doesn't grasp the explanation.

Our biggest challenge right now is that she refuses to stay dressed at bed time. She pees the bed, she is cold, and tonight she woke up knowing she had to pee, but it was too late, so she squatted on the floor and peed. She was screaming and crying so Brad ran in and here she was popping a squat. Then, we found her pajamas and her diaper stuffed in her toy box...WHAT???

WHY???

Well, Nana Pam is making her some pajamas tomorrow with a zipper on the back. That's the only thing we can think of right now. Hopefully it will work.

Until tomorrow my little naked engine. You CAN do it :)

Down Time

Awww, the girls just went down for their naps, I've just kicked my feet up and start leisurely playing with my phone. The next thing I know, I can hear balls being pushed into the air by this machine playing loud music. Ah yes, Amelie has decided to play with loud toys instead of taking a nap. The funny thing is, is that she probably thinks noone can hear her.

So, I walk in to tell her to go back to bed and if you have been reading my blog you could probably guess that she is once again naked. I've given up on diapers and clothes. She loves to be free and I can't blame her.

A few weeks ago I decided to surrender to the fact that I just don't get down time during the day. This has actually made me happier and more content when they wake up. I'm not bothered by them waking up anymore. I'm just embracing their presence and enjoying it. But, it took me a while to surrender to this and I'm happy to say I feel more peaceful during the day with lower expectations.

The moral of this story...Don't leave loud toys in a toddlers bedroom. ha ha ha

A Birthday Suit

For the last two nights Amelie has insisted on sleeping naked, not just in her underwear or a diaper, NO, I mean totally buck. Her two year old mind can't answer the question "why" yet, so tonight I figured it out through trial and error. She is potty trained by day, but not by night and I think she does not like a wet diaper on her skin anymore.

After the 3rd time of her coming out of her room totally naked and me getting her re-dressed and telling her to stay in bed; I was getting frustrated. So, I told her that if she does it again I am going to spank her bare booty. I like to remind her that a bare booty spanking hurts more than a diaper swat. Well, she did it again and I told her to get on her bed and turn over because I was going to spank her booty. So, she willingly rolled over and in a split second it occured to me that this isn't right. She is trying to tell me something and I can't spank a child for not wanting to wear a diaper. She is potty training...HELLO!!! So, I grabbed the diaper on the floor and sure enough, it was wet.

Instead of getting annoyed, I am chosing to think she is amazing. This girl potty trains herself and she knows when she is ready for stuff. Although I have not potty trained a toddler before, I am thinking that I'm lucky. She WANTS to do it and I think that is rare, so I need to be patient and listen to her cues. If she pees the bed, oh well. I have enough minky dot sheets to last a few days thanks to Nana Pam and I have chux pads from the hospital to protect the mattress.

My sweet little Amelie...you always know what you want and I love you for that. I will be waiting for you in the middle of the night whether it's "mommy, I have to go pee pee", or "mommy, I peed".

Brielle's friend Mat

Brielle's best friend is Mat. He is a colorful character, keeps her attention for long periods of time, and likes to sing the same song over and over and over again. His first name is play and he has no last name.

Yes, my friends, her best friend is her play mat. And, it has also become my best friend because it allows me to get things done. All I have to do is check in here and there, give a big smile, and squeal some lovely delights her way. She then kicks and smiles and carries on like her and Mat have things to do.

It's amazing to me the simplicity a baby requires. All she needs is some color, music, and a few textures and voila....MIND BLOWN!!!

As a first time mom, I would feel guilty for leaving Amelie in her mat, like I wasn't giving her enough attention. But I've realized that babies let you know when they need you. I think Brielle needs more attention than Amelie did and Amelie is still very independent. It takes more of my time to keep Brielle happy, but I'm embracing it because she is the sweetest and smiley-est baby I've ever known. I'm literally falling in love with her. I think it's healthy to admit that it takes time to connect with your children and I'm loving the connection that she and I are forming.

Thanks Mat for helping me every day to get things done around the house and keeping my little B happy :)