Are you Lion?

I decided to indulge in some "healthy" chocolate covered pomegranates the other day and of course Amelie wanted some too, so I told her she had to eat a small bag of carrots first.  I sat her on the couch with a cartoon, carrots and the magical bag of chocolate sitting just out of reach.  So I went about my business.

A few minutes went by and she came and asked me for the chocolates again.   I squinted my eyebrows knowing that carrots are not that easy to chew and could not have been eaten that quickly.  

Besides, she had that silly grin on her face that says, "But I'm cute so you should give me anything I want."  I felt myself falling for it and quickly shook it off and came back to reality.  So, I decided to give her a chance at making the right decision.  I asked her, "did you finish your carrots?"  She told me yes, and I asked, "honey, are you lying?"  She kinda laughed like I was the silly one and said ademantly, "NO".  I said, "are you sure?"  Still she was acting like my question was so silly so I decided to ask her, "Do you know what lying means?" 

She said, "Yes".  I was surprised since I didn't really think she would know what lying means even though I was sure she was lying in that moment.  So, I asked her, "What is lying?"  

She answered with pride...."It's a TIGER".

How could I deny chocolate to a response like that.  

Love her!!!

hair pulling

I have not had the time to blog.  I have had so many ideas and funny things that I would love to blog about, but keeping up is hard to do and blogging is not the priority.  That being said, I do write very intimate letters to the girls and I feel like I need to blog tonight's letter to Brielle.  It's been a problem since she was six months old and has finally stopped and it has caused me many tears and breaks my heart to think about.  Luckily, we made it through it and I feel like I reconciled the situation.  I will forever blame myself no matter what anyone says, but it made me love and cherish her more so in the long run, maybe it was meant to be.

So, here is my letter to my little B:

For the past 6 months you have slowly pulled all of you hair out.  You had the most beautiful, full, flowing red hair and it is all gone.  I was so perplexed about it and blamed myself thinking I had caused you stress, like I had done something wrong.  You handed me clumps of hair until there was just no more to pull.  Watching your beautiful locks disappear made me sad, but wondering why broke my heart.  Were you nervous, were you stressed?  Did I do something wrong?  Was I neglecting you?

My friends tried to encourage me to believe that it was just a weird habit and that you would get over it.  Well, they were kinda right because you are kinda a picker.  But I decided to pay a little more attention to you and hold you more and come to you when you cry just a little bit more.  Basically, I had to learn who you were because you are not your sister. You are sensitive in a different way and your needs are so different.

I immediately saw results and the hair pulling stopped.  I'm so glad I figured it out, but I will forever blame myself thinking that you spent a few months frustrated more than you needed to be because of my short comings.  I guess this is what makes a mom a good mom, because I care so much about you, but I'm sorry that I didn't figure it out sooner.  You will never know the difference and you are such a happy baby.   But, I will never forget it.  I have cried over it many times.  Thank you for being patient with me.  I'm learning new things too.  By the way, you just learned to walk this week and you are full throttle.  You are so proud of yourself and it's so fun to watch you enjoy your new skill.  I love you so much little B.

Bees and Ninjas

What is it about hornets that makes me feel like I'm an elephant that just saw a mouse? I cower, panic and my body freezes up. Then I look for that moment when I can run as fast as I can to a safe place? The great thing about motherhood is that you become a ninja warrior in the face of fear. Once my children are involved and I think this hornet might fly into my car and attack my children I start Karate chopping the air and using my body as a shield, but the minute I close the car door with my kids inside and me on the outside, I realize I'm weak again and run as fast and as far as I can away from this monster. There is a real sense of empowerment with motherhood and I like being their protector and advocate. I am certainly a momma bear and I understand that feeling of wanting to shred someone alive for messing with my babies. Thank you mother nature for helping me express myself today.

Taking the power back

If someone were to ask me what the best decision I ever made as a parent was, I would say "putting a backwards lock on Amelie's door". I know that doesn't sound very deep and loving, but after months of chaotic nights of irrational behavior and resistance, that little lock has made us all happy and relaxed. I have been wanting to turn Amelie's door lock backwards for a while now because it is so hard to get her to go to bed. We have been nice, we have been mean, we have tried it all!!! And she still gets up a lot. It can take up to two hours for her to stay in bed and go to sleep. Some people were telling me what an awful idea it was so I went against my own judgement and didn't do it. Well, last week I got so fed up that we finally put a lock on her door and it was the best thing I have ever done. The first night she was pissed. Is anyone surprised by this? What's new right? I'm immune to her being upset. I watched her through the monitor and at one point she literally had all fours off the ground. Her hands were gripping the handle and her feet were on the door. Seriously dude??? I felt my nose scrunch, my eyebrows pointed down, and my mouth hung open. And then I started shaking my head. I was disgusted, irritated, and just a slight bit sad for her. But since the first two emotions were stronger I shoved the feeling of sadness back into that part of the brain that never gets used. I am happy to say that the fit lasted a very short amount of time and after two days we don't even have to lock the door anymore. I will keep the lock there just in case she tries to get all Jurassic park on me (you know how the dinosaurs would come and test the fence just to see if there was a chance that the electricity was turned off) and test it again. I am very pleased with this situation and I feel like I took the power back once again one step at a time. The whole house is much more peaceful and Amelie has had to learn to control herself. A very good lesson indeed :)

Thumb Glove

I always knew the time would come that Amelie would have to stop sucking her thumb. And, I always knew that I would be strong enough to get through it with her but never expected such a young being to have so much will power. Amelie is a very avid thumb sucker and her mouth was showing signs of the buck teeth shape so I decided it was time to end it once and for all. She has never been allowed to suck her thumb any time other than to sleep but since I can't stop her while we are sleeping I found a glove that she can't take off. I did a ton of research and it's the best design out there for younger children because while older children want to stop because of social embarrassment, the younger ones could care less what society thinks of them. Here is the link... Http://thingerthumbglove.com/ So, this glove is nearly impossible for them to take off and that is what she needed. And so the drama begins...I first tried the glove at night and I had been talking about it for a whole week while we waited for it to come in the mail. Here is a picture of her last hoo rah. Notice the fear in her eyes...

At first she was a willing participant because she didn't yet realize how permanent this was going to be. But once she realized how determined and serious I was about it, the rage began. There was a lot of crying and screaming. She even threw herself on the floor, kicked and then pounded on the walls and her door. Biggest fit ever. I decided not to get upset with her but to tell her that she didn't need her thumb anymore to make herself feel better and that she has me or daddy or her favorite stuffed puppy to make her feel better. She was sad, angry, and confused but I was still impressed with her strength. I kept telling her I was so proud of her and that she was doing such a good job. Well that night after 45 minutes she got the glove off and her thumb nail was bleeding. I decided to let her go to bed without the glove but told her that we would try again tomorrow. The next day I put the glove on for nap time and she was PISSED!!! But this time it was only 30 minutes and she wore herself out and fell asleep with the glove on...hooray!!!! I even got some pictures of her after her nap. I was so proud of her and she knew it.

Well, it's been two weeks now and tonight she even reminded me to put her glove on. It's just part of the routine now. When she graduates from this issue and no longer needs the glove she gets to go buy a bunch of nail polish. She is very excited about it. I am so proud of her and I sometimes love her stubbornness because it shows me that she is strong. Life will not push her around. Luckily she has a mom that knows a thing or two about being stubborn though or else she would be out of control.

Mother's Day

I had a great Mother's Day weekend. It was the best so far.  The only thing I feel a little bad about is that the best parts of the weekend was my time away from the kids.  I know eventually my favorite times will be with them and not away from them, but 2 kids under 3 years old can be very annoying.  But, now that I have that off my chest, here's how my special weekend went:

Brad took me on a bike ride while Nana watched the girls.  I didn't realize I was so out of shape, but it felt great to get some real cardio and also have some chat time with my hubby.  The first stop was under a huge oak tree where my friend and I frequently walk the kids to in the stollers.  We usually stop under the shaded tree to adjust the kids, give them snacks, or fulfill any demand.  I told Brad that I just had to stop and enjoy the peace and quiet.  No demands, just a quiet break to catch my breath...awww.

Then we carried on and stopped to have a drink and an appetizer and check out some cool bikes at a bike shop.  Brad and I would love to get some beach cruizers. I found one with pink hearts and a huge bell that sounded like a loud door bell.  It was awesomely obnoxious and everything I want in a cruizer. (Santa Cruz here we come!!!) 

Brad even took me shopping for some clothes at this cute boutique.  I got myself a new outfit, which was so awesome.  I have not done that for a few years.  He made my day so awesome and I needed it.

We then came home.  I nursed the baby, took a shower and headed out to dinner at a duelling piano bar.  It was really fun.  I even wore my new outfit.  End of day 1....

Day 2:  We were so tired we didn't make it to church so we headed out to the beach for the day with Nana and Papa and the girls.  It was really fun but no naps means hard day for mom.  My typical Angel baby Brielle was fussy the ENTIRE time.  I mean she wouldn't shut up for hours....UGH.  But as usual, the beach is fun no matter what the circumstances.

The funny thing is, is that we got such great photos that I could pretend that my life is bliss and perfect, but let's be realistic.  Please enjoy the photos, but don't kid yourself.

This photo was right before she threw herself back in frustration and I literally watched a chunk of watermelon slide down the back of her throat. As I quickly threw her forward and started pounding on her back I realized it was a clean slide and did not obstruct her airway.  Phew...no choking.

Both of my girls really love the sand.  They have never been irritated by it's stickiness.  They love to dig right in and feel it.  Amazingly, Brielle never tries to put it in her mouth which makes it much easier for me.

Towards the end, the girls were very tired.  I even carried them both to the car at the same time.  Baby in the pack and toddler on my back.  I do love that I can be there for my girls when they need me even if it means carrying them both at the same time on a long walk.  I think it makes me feel not only needed, but empowered.

It was all worth it and we had a great day.  It's fun to make memories like these for your children.  Amelie talked about the beach a lot.  She even made up a song called, "goin' to the beach...goin' to the beach".  That night she told daddy that we should go to the beach again.  So cute.

Thank you to my family for the best Mother's Day yet

The protest

Brielle just got two teeth at the same time and while she handled the pain very well I believe she was trying to let know she was still not happy about it.

She started biting me and it was like needles in a place where needles don't ever need to be. She was doing it so bad that screaming and telling her no wasn't enough. She would actually laugh at me when I freaked out.

So, I had to flick her cheek and make her cry. I felt so bad and instantly felt some regret. She then protested the boob for the rest of the day therefore nursing only twice that day. She usually nurses four to five times a day.

I got so stressed and started feeling a disconnect from her that I didn't like. She went to bed for the night without a feeding but couldn't really go to sleep until 11 pm that night when she finally gave in leaving both her and I exhausted but relaxed. It was instant relief for me when she finally nursed because as a mom my job is to feed my babies and make sure they are healthy. I don't want to fail them.

I was amazed at the connection that nursing brings to a mother and her child and how emotional it was for me that she didn't want me.

Well, it has been a week now and all is well. No more biting and we are back to being the best of buds. I love my little Brielle. She is quite possibly the sweetest baby to ever exist.