The Strong Willed Child

I had always heard of this description for some children and that it can often be misdiagnosed by people who just have unruly or difficult children.  It can sometimes be an excuse for parents who don't have control over their kids and by calling them strong willed it seems to get the parent off the hook.  Because of this I never wanted to admit that my own child might be strong willed but after a night like tonight, it's official, she IS strong willed.

I decided to do some research to confirm my thoughts on this and she fits the description to a T.  I have always said that I like her fire because I believe it will benefit her as an adult.  After researching it I felt good to find that I am right.  Here is what they had to say:

Strong willed children can be a challenge to parent when they’re young, but if sensitively parented, they become terrific teens and young adults.  Self-motivated and inner-directed, they go after what they want and are almost impervious to peer pressure.  As long as parents resist the impulse to "break their will," strong-willed kids often become leaders.  


here is a good link for more info...http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/positive-discipline/Parenting-Strong-Willed-Child


I was very proud to read this and it was much needed because I had reached such a heightened level of frustration I was determined that I was going to spank her until she submitted. I'm so glad I didn't thanks to my loving husband and partner in crime.

I too was a very strong willed child and I'm afraid that if I am not careful, my will to be right will break her spirit and confidence.

The article also said that, "When their heart is set on something, their brains seem to have a hard time switching gears.  They have big, passionate feelings and live at full throttle.


This was the defining moment for me.  This has been the absolute battle lately.  I feel like I am supposed to win every battle but I also have to offer respect and empathy.  I need to figure out what she wants and why.  I need to listen to her and allow her to express herself.  I still need to be in charge, but I am dealing with such a bright little girl that I need to allow her to have a point of view.  I don't have to agree with everything, but I need to calmly guide her through her adrenaline rushes.  She gets so worked up that I can literally feel her heart pounding and she almost stares at me with a desperate look of helplessness.  I truly believe there are times where she can not stop herself and my rage is NOT going to help the matter.

I can typically remain calm, but sometimes it's too much for me and I flip out.  At that point it's a battle of wills and it's very unhealthy.  The amount of emotion and passion that she and I have gets so escalated it's scary.   She is truly the biggest challenge in my life.

I will continue to pray over her, pray for myself, and research how to lovingly and calmly parent her but I need help and I need input.

I am going to download "the strong willed child" by James Dobson to my iphone tonight.  Let's pray for new beginnings and happy 2 year olds.

I just dwibbled a wittle bit

This is Amelie's new saying for when she sorta pees her pants.  It's pretty funny.  She usually waits until the last second to tell me that she has to go potty, so little dwibbles happen a lot.

Tonight, we were at a friends house for dinner and she was laughing so hard at one of the kids that she yelled "mommy, I just dwibbled a wittle bit"  and then kept laughing and said, "I just went pee pee in my pants".

We were cracking up.  Luckily she has her padded undies to catch the dwibbles.  If she keeps up this humor I might have to get some for myself....LOL

Just call me the bulldogger

One of these days I am going to mistake Brielle for a calf and tie her ankles to her wrists.  When it's time for a diaper change I feel like I have entered the rodeo arena and my event is steer wrestling.  I literally have to use my whole forearm to hold her chest down so that she cant flip over to her stomach.  If she breaks through the hold and gets onto her stomach I will try to wipe her booty but she tightens her butt cheeks so tight I cant get in and clean her crack.

If I try to tell her no she looks at me and laughs.  It can be very annoying, but I think it's more funny than it is annoying.  If I took the frustrated route at every diaper change I would never be happy, so I guess I have to embrace the silliness of a busy child and applaud her independence and curiosity.

I love you Brielle, but if I find some rope laying around the house, watch out, you might get hobbled.

(This might be too many hill billy references for my city friends...oh well...google it...LOL)

Big Teeth

Apparently Amelie has interpreted that if you have big teeth you can say big words that someone with smaller teeth can not say.  When she feels like she can not say a word or a phrase she tells me she can not say it because she does not have big teeth yet.  It's pretty cute and I like the way her brain is working.  It's amazing how kids comprehend and interpret things.

It kinda teaches me how to look at things differently too.  It's a very basic approach to life and sometimes I desire to think like a child.  I often wish I could just spend a few moments in her head.  I even try to remember my own child hood and how I interpreted things differently than I do as an adult.

Lately I have been watching the movie Annie and realizing how different it is to watch it now but how it also gives me gitty and happy goose bumps like it did when I was a kid.  It's a happy place for me.  I love tapping into the carefree world of children.  I want to provide that place for Amelie and Brielle for as long as possible.  It's magical and once it's gone the only thing that gets you back there is alcohol...ha ha ha, just kidding.

The most annoying sound in the world...

...lies somewhere between Brielle's lungs and diaphragm.

Somehow Brielle figured out how to grunt and groan with all her might at a very loud and annoying level. It's horrible and we all hate it.  Brad decided to start blowing in her face to maybe teach her about consequence.  I usually tend to take my role as nurturer and stick up for her, but this time I just can't do that.  It's a sound that makes me mad and frustrated and I just want her to shut up.

What's funny is that even I have blown in her face a few times and now Amelie does it.  She even says, "NO, Brielle, nobody likes that sound...it's ugly."  OH MY.  What have I done...ha ha.

For the most part, Brielle is the happiest baby on the planet, but lately she gets very frustrated in the evenings.  I think her teeth are moving and she just needs extra attention.

She is the sweetest little Bee in the world, but that sound has got to go.

If I could have a going away party for it, I would, but for now I guess we all have to live with it.  Oh well, we still love her like crazy.

The Pee Pee Dance

I have always heard of the pee pee dance but have never really seen Amelie do it until the other night.  When she has to go she usually just announces it and runs to the bathroom. (Technically she is always running, she never really just walks anywhere :)

So, what happened is that she came in and announced that she needed to go pee pee and ran into the bathroom, but told me to stay in my room because she wanted to do it herself.  Well, she was starting to panic so I just assumed that she couldn't get on the toilet and chickened out.  (Sometimes she gets scared to get on the toilet by herself).  So, I went in and told her I would spot her and to try again, but she just started jumping up and down and bending her knees frantically.  I was thinking to myself...what is wrong with her right now?  Well, all of a sudden it was like a splash of fluid was running down the toilet, splashing on my shirt, my pants, and all over the floor. It was everywhere and it was in every direction.  My goodness...you think your pee is like a steady stream...well, it's not...it sprays.

So, I quickly got her on the potty, but there was a huge mess to clean up.  The pee pee mess is obvious, but the other mess was her emotions.  She gets so upset when she makes mistakes so I have to be very gentle and tell her it's ok.  She loves it when I say..."Poor baby"..."Poor Amelie".  She likes the baby talk a little bit and it's really cute when she repeats it.

After all was said and done I realized what the pee pee dance really looks like and how I completely missed her cues.  We are so tightly knit and I don't like it when I misunderstand her.  As her mom I want to understand her completely. I want to be there for her like no other human being can do.  I missed it a little this time, but learned something new.

Even when you are helping your children, they might pee on you, but it's ok, just change your clothes because it will happen again, and again.

Giggles

I have always looked forward to the infectious giggling aspect of having girls.  I loved giggling with my friends as a little girl and still do, although it doesn't happen enough as an adult anymore. Yesterday, that moment came for Amelie and her friend Ella.

We took the girls to the park and put them in the swings next to each other and it brought me great joy to watch them giggle at each other.  They are becoming such good buddies.

Giggling brings such a joyous feeling to life.  I have one friend in mind that would make me laugh infectiously for very long periods of time.  She was my high school friend Marci.  I remember the pain in my side and my facial muscles tightening, but it felt so good.  As we get older we get so serious and I need those moments of letting go and laughing so hard you pee your pants.  Ok, so these days, all it takes is a sneeze to pee my pants, but whatever...LOL.

I can't wait to laugh with Amelie and listen to her giggles with her friends and especially her sister.  I can already see it brewing in them.  Brielle already smiles a lot at Amelie and watches her movements.  I think very soon they will be laughing together and it will be music to my ears.

In times of trial, I love to see their innocence and carefree spirits.  I want them to live in this happy bubble for as long as possible.  I guess we will just have to laugh along with them and I look forward to it.