I had my first real scare as a mom last week when I realized that Amelie was losing her hearing. I spent the next hour testing her and trying different things with her thinking that maybe I was overreacting and that she just had a terrible attention span.
But then Brad came home.
We did more tests with her and he quickly told me to call the Doctor. I couldn't really contain myself. The rush of emotions was enough to make me want to puke. Her future flashed before me of struggles and tears and frustration. Having to learn sign language and the devastation of thinking that nobody is going to want to marry her. I was choking back tears and I had lost my mind. I kept my cool on the outside, but I was freaking out on the inside.
We got an appointment with the doctor but it was 3 days out. That night she got up to go potty and I couldn't whisper to her. She kept asking me what? and she couldn't even hear me responding to her so she would ask the question again while I was talking. At this point I was calm about it but days before I noticed that her ears weren't working she was getting in a lot of trouble. She was frustrated...I was frustrated...and it gave me a glimpse into the life of having a handicapped child. And, I felt bad because I just thought she was being a selective listener and that she was being disrespectful.
Very quickly after I realized she could not hear me, my frustrations turned into a major nurturer. I just wanted to give her as much love as I could give her. It made me realize how much I love her and that I would give her the world. I will do anything to make her happy and to make her life easier. It was very touching and good for me to step back and cherish her.
The next morning I decided that I could not wait another day so we got her in that afternoon and it turned out that she had a double ear infection. I could not have been more relieved knowing that it would soon pass and that she was a wonderfully healthy little girl.
I can't say that I wish it had never happened because it was good for me to tap into my ultra tender mommy side. We should probably give that character a name because she often fights to get out. For some reason Bobby Brown's Tender Roni is popping into my head so Roni it is. Let's pray for my children's sake that Roni makes many appearances throughout their growing up. I do like her, and I want to see more of her but not under such scary circumstances.
Amelie...I love you so much and I want the world for you. I'm so glad that you have a strong heart and a family that cares so deeply for you. Just remember that no matter what happens in life you have a huge support team. You can get through anything. My little sweety pie.
But then Brad came home.
We did more tests with her and he quickly told me to call the Doctor. I couldn't really contain myself. The rush of emotions was enough to make me want to puke. Her future flashed before me of struggles and tears and frustration. Having to learn sign language and the devastation of thinking that nobody is going to want to marry her. I was choking back tears and I had lost my mind. I kept my cool on the outside, but I was freaking out on the inside.
We got an appointment with the doctor but it was 3 days out. That night she got up to go potty and I couldn't whisper to her. She kept asking me what? and she couldn't even hear me responding to her so she would ask the question again while I was talking. At this point I was calm about it but days before I noticed that her ears weren't working she was getting in a lot of trouble. She was frustrated...I was frustrated...and it gave me a glimpse into the life of having a handicapped child. And, I felt bad because I just thought she was being a selective listener and that she was being disrespectful.
Very quickly after I realized she could not hear me, my frustrations turned into a major nurturer. I just wanted to give her as much love as I could give her. It made me realize how much I love her and that I would give her the world. I will do anything to make her happy and to make her life easier. It was very touching and good for me to step back and cherish her.
The next morning I decided that I could not wait another day so we got her in that afternoon and it turned out that she had a double ear infection. I could not have been more relieved knowing that it would soon pass and that she was a wonderfully healthy little girl.
I can't say that I wish it had never happened because it was good for me to tap into my ultra tender mommy side. We should probably give that character a name because she often fights to get out. For some reason Bobby Brown's Tender Roni is popping into my head so Roni it is. Let's pray for my children's sake that Roni makes many appearances throughout their growing up. I do like her, and I want to see more of her but not under such scary circumstances.
Amelie...I love you so much and I want the world for you. I'm so glad that you have a strong heart and a family that cares so deeply for you. Just remember that no matter what happens in life you have a huge support team. You can get through anything. My little sweety pie.
